THE BEST OF TIMES

Hi everyone! We just had a great trip back east, so I have lots of photos to update, and Kai started walking! But first I wanted to share this video link Jenn sent to me. IT IS AN AMAZING VIDEO, A MUST SEE!! To see the video go to: http://www.catholicvote.com/

Learning to swim with DADDY!

Kai took his first swimming lessons, and fortunately Koa was able to make it to a few of the classes. Between Koa and Kai I couldn't tell who was enjoying the lessons more- they had a blast together! Kai's friend Guliano took the class with his parents too! It was great!

Alaska doesn't have outdoor pools, so on our Texas and Oklahoma trip Koa and Kai had fun at a few pools. They are adorable together!

David and Terrell

My brother David has been one of my best friends for a long time, and my endless efforts to help find his future wife have been unsuccessful.

However, he finally found her! They have a great story- two Decembers ago David wrote me an email about a dream he had where he saw a girl who had olive skin and dark hair sitting on a wall outside his apartment reading a book. As he got closer, he noticed she was reading the Book of Mormon. In his dream he didn't know this girl, but they started talking and she told him she started to read the Book of Mormon because she knew he was LDS and there was something different about David that this girl liked, so she decided to read this book to see if that what he believed was the reason he was different. In the dream David ended up marrying this girl. So, in the email David sent me two Decembers ago, he told me that he thinks he will have to introduce the gospel to his future wife.

Exactly a year later David had his first date with a girl named Terrell. Shortly after they started dating, she asked David about religion, and expressed interest in finding out what he believes in. To make this story short . . . on April 12, 2008 Terrell became the newest member of The Church of Jesus-Christ of Latter Day Saints! Congratulations TO!

They fell in love, and on June 20, 2008 Terrell became the newest member of the Clark family! We love her, and are thrilled David FINALLY found her:) David- I guess there really was "a girl in Texas" for you! Congratulations to the new couple!

Ryan and Talara's Wedding

Kai makes new friends

Play Time

Koa and I couldn't love our son more! He is an amazing blessing, and every day we have so much fun with him! Here are just a few pictures of our little man hanging out!

Do I really have to let my baby cry himself to sleep?!

No! For decades authors of parenting books have instructed mothers to teach their babies to go to sleep at night by putting the babies in bed, walking away, and not responding to their cries. The idea is that the babies will cry themselves to sleep. The authors encourage parents to do this by stating that this will teach babies to "self-soothe". As a result of reading this advice, or simply because for generations that is what parents have done and new parents reason "that is what my mother did to me and I turned out all right, so it must be okay" or "my child won't remember this when they are older so they won't be traumatized by it", this practice has become wide spread .

In becoming a new mother I received lots of advice from other parents. Regarding my son's night time routine countless mothers shared with me their experiences of letting their child cry him/herself to sleep. I have heard mothers tell me that they allowed their baby to cry for up to an hour and a half before the child finally fell asleep! Without fail the mothers share with me how hard it was for them to let their baby cry without attending to him/her, but they did it because it is one of those things they believed parents have to do . . . because that is what the books say and that is what everyone does and has been doing for some time.

I know that parents want to do what is best for their children, so I am not at all attempting to criticize well-intentioned parents who have done this. I, however, have to say that the more I learn about child psychology and development, the more I am convinced that this concept of letting babies cry themselves to sleep at night is misguided. In the many parenting books I have read I have yet to find an author basing this suggestion off clean, unbiased, VALID research proving that this is a healthy practice. At this age babies are at an important stage where they are developing their sense of safety and security. I just don't think letting your baby cry for an extended period of time without responding is healthy. Nor do I believe in the idea that out of a parent's unresponsiveness the child will learn to "self-soothe" at this age.

Babies don't have the cognitive abilities to reason that "it must be bed time and my parents are not responding because they want me to go to bed. In the morning when it is time to get up, they will come and get me". Rather, they cry because they want you, then because they are mad that you are not coming, then because they question if you are coming, then the crying intensifies because they know you must be coming but they are now confused why it has taken so long, and then if you listen you will hear the cry turn into a soft, deep, and desperate (and for me heartbreaking) pant when they resolve that no one is coming. By this point they have exhausted themselves out, and they fall asleep thinking that their parents (who up to this point they hopefully learned were their safety and security and would come to them when they needed them) maybe won't always be there when they cry out for them. I have seen this cycle in videos at college, and I saw my son go through the same cycle when I tried to let him cry himself to sleep.

I don't know who this affected more- me or my son, but I will NEVER do that again, and it re-affirmed my original belief about this philosophy- it is hogwash! Again, the more I learn about child psychology and development, the more I disagree with the practice of making babies cry themselves to sleep. There is a reason mothers don't feel good about doing this, and I strongly believe that mothers need to follow their intuition on this issue rather than a misinformed author of some book. I challenge any author who instructs parents to follow this practice to show me valid evidence that it is a healthy practice.

This is just one example of the need to be an educated consumer of information. A book does not become accurate on the basis of it being published. I also disagree with parenting that blindly follows what previous generations have done simply because "that is what they did with me and I turned out all right". With the increase of new information each generation will hopefully produce even better parenting techniques, so we should be progressing rather than digressing. It is my opinion that parents should educate themselves thoroughly, and them compare that to what their parental intuition tells them before making a decision . . . especially before deciding not to respond to their child's cries.

Quick Photo Opp

Before Koa left for Seal school, we had his sister Miki snap some family photos. I will fill in the 6 month gap in the blog as I go.

This is right before Kai's 6 month birthday- I can't believe how quickly time flies!

Kai laughs and squeals when his daddy lifts him up like this.

In this photo he was looking at his Tutu (AKA Grandma Bailey).

I can't help it- he is so cute, I just love to squeeze him tightly!

I LOVE being a mom- he is so much fun!

My amazing family! They are so handsome!

Kai already weights 16 lbs, and is in the 75% for height!

Koa and Kai's feet. We took a foot picture of Kai's feet just after he was born, and you can't tell how small his feet were because there wasn't anything else in the picture to compare it to. I think we will take a picture like this each year.